Here's one for Dad!

NAK!

"Nak! how are you? what's your new address, " you asked in your usual authoritative voice over the phone. That was expected of you since you will be sending my employment and transfer credentials in a couple of days.

" I am good pa. I am now here in Munoz, pro.....ject seven, I guess." I flatly answered annoyed by the pounding of hammer and the sound of flickering welding rod and steel in the background.

" I was there when I was your age, I wandered around Caloocan, someplace in Manila and Quezon City specially Munoz!" You bragged which made me wonder since I was expecting that you'd give me a casual answer commanding me text you about my new complete address.

Although I didn't plan to lengthen the call, I replied and tried to sound thrilled, "Really? So you know the places here pretty well like where, exactly I am at right now?!"

"Of course, I am a Manila boy. Though things have changed, that's for sure, I am sure I won't be lost if I'll go back." You blurted proudly and I sense a long conversation so I cut you off. "Okay then, text you later once I get to talk to the landlord. bye!" And there was silence again in my new room that looks more like a prison cell.

Do you still remember that conversation pa? That was 6 months ago after I moved to  Munoz, Quezon City. Actually, I was planning to write about that conversation days after I transferred here but I just shrugged it  off because I still didn't have that forgiving heart. I didn't want to draw sympathy from people just because I hated you. When you hang up I wondered why you and I have to be the same in almost all aspects- attitude, grace, and manner of talking, bluntness, the nose, the eyes, the lips, skin and the way we sleep and snore? I mean, I can tolerate them because science has an explanation for them…but the destination? Munoz? The exact age of me and you getting here?” Destiny’s gonna be kidding! I don't think it’s still embedded on my DNA makeup! Well, whatever the similarities we have, it all boils down to one thing- you played a huge part in who and what I am now.

  

I'm a favored child but I'm no daddy's girl. We argue a lot and I've shed tears countless times. I'm very stubborn, and you know that. But just for now and for the first time, I'd like to do that one thing I've never ever done before...to say thank you. Because I think it's time to roll the credit. So, here are the 20 reasons why I'm thankful to have you as my father.

I'm thankful because...
1. You didn't leave mom after you learned that she was conceiving your first child. And that child is writing this piece now.
2. You and mama gave me two lovely sisters and three handsome brothers, that way, my life will be more purpose-driven.
3.  Just when I thought, you would really never be partial to me, you were there when my friends turned their backs on me.
4. You forced me to go look for a job. One thing led to another, and now, I learned what reality is all about, I learned that life isn't all about me.And the best silver lining is, I'm now with people I never thought I can make friends with.
5. You pushed me to be the best because you know I can do more than I think even If I insist  I can't. 
6. You ridiculed me for biting more than I can chew. I then realized that life is easier when you do things one at a time.
7 You bought me a blue hello kitty wrist watch when I was five years old. You probably don't remember it anymore.
8. You sent me to school.
9. You introduced me to classic music.
10. You fix our own appliances at home.
11. You trained me how to listen to radio news and current event programs and read newspapers.
12. You are honest. You always tell me when I'm doing things wrong and reproach me if I come running back to you crying. After all, it's all my choice.
13. You reprimanded me for living beyond my means.So, I slowly learned not to mind if I don't have a  new dress for Christmas.
14. You wrote my first senatorial campaign speech in 3rd grade. I place 6th. not bad.
15. You helped me solve my assignment in multiplication in 2nd grade and taught me the shorthand method of solving problems in Mathematics.
16. You refused to connive with me at the idea of writing my entry for Nutrition month essay writing contest beforehand instead of writing it on the spot (in my ambition to bag the first place). You said, "Why were you chosen to represent your grade level in the first place when you are too coward and incapable of writing about such a simple topic, go, do it yourself!" That was first lesson of honesty and independence.
17. You never accompanied me in every enrollment and "first- days-of- school. I ended up asking question and figuring out my way home all by myself. I learned how to embrace challenges and ask directions when I'm lost.
18. You told me your life story. Made me feel I'm  luckier than you as a child.
19. You taught me how to act like a lady and think like a boss. Now, I know what's bullshit and not.
20. You are my father.

One Busy day at a construction site...one of his projects in Davao city.

Pa, though, I act like I'm not interested with all of your stories and your interests, I have a full account of every bits of truth I've observed and I've learned from you in my memory bank. tsaran!!!!!

Aside from all brainstormings we had, here are 20  facts about my father.hehehe...

1. He has 5 facebook accounts.
2. He is a civil construction foreman at Prosteel Industries.

3. He knows things such us jailbreak, megabytes, operating system and other technical terms. I don't have to worry whether we're on the same wavelength or not when we talk about them.

4. He plays games on encarta kids, plants vs zombies and other games played by generation y.
5. He cries when he's drunk.
6. He was already welder at 14 years old.
7. He's an electrician,technician, plumber, welder, architect, engineer and contractor by experience.(And a singer)
8. He was an accelerated consistent honor student in grade school and high school.
9. He had experienced sleeping at Luneta Park as a vagabond in his early 20s and was chased by authorities for doing so.
10. He went house to house selling Health and Home and and other health magazines before he got married.
11. He has read the bible from the Book of Genesis to the Book  of Revelations.
12. He loves songs of The Beatles, Engelbert Humperdinck, Bing Rodrigo, Carpenters, Cascades, Fergie, Shania Twain, Florida etc.
13. He loves wearing black shirt from Baguio City with Philippine Military Academy symbol on it.
14. He did research about the accounts I'm working for as call center agent like Cisco and AT&T u-verse. So he can relate everytime I talk about them.
15. He's particular with punctuality.
16. He believes in the Seventh Day Adventist doctrine.
17. He quit smoking six years ago.
18. He loves movies and discussing political and religious issues.
19. He is a fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger,Daniel Craig, Aamir Khan and Jackie Chan and many others.
20. He loves reading books and newspapers.

Morning look!:P

Years back, i told myself I would not marry a man like you. It's like telling a guy not to marry a woman like me because I am your carbon copy. Just be you pa!
HAPPY 46th BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

without wax,

your daughter, Mary Ann

Project : Built-in Happiness! : ))

REFLECTION 101

"Do you know that month when graduation days usually fall, when I had to deliver my oh- so- long graduation speech,  when I had to take a leap of faith, when separation happens, when mind over matter cease to work and when universe conspires to make you the unluckiest person on the planet? That's April. It is my most hated month that I don't even bother getting into specifics. Believe me or not, these evil-driven events happens annually like a festival every April. And now, I'm decided to break that cycle and realize that it's all in the mind. Hence, I'm writing this." 

I almost decided not to write anything for this month. I couldn't think of anything sensible to write. I thought, maybe I should direct my attention to something else. I went vintage and thrift shopping, bonded with friends, and did everything else that could help me get rid off toxic thoughts that originated from the workplace, the graduation photos of my former college and high school classmates on Facebook  and countless other reasons. The euphoria and temporary escape keeps wearing off every time I go home. Then, I realize I should acknowledge them, instead of pretending I am not affected. Finally, there was one day, I had to find a place to break my one thousand peso bill before hopping into a bus. I went  inside a bookstore and randomly pulled up a copy of "Good Housekeeping" from a stash of old magazines and paid it. So, I read and read and read until Voila! I found something worth- pondering!



I call it my ultimate fashion find. So, yes, we're talking about man's ultimate goal in life since the dawn of humanity...."Happiness". Sounds preachy and overrated, doesn't it? But hmmmm...let's give it a try.

http://www.uber-facts.com/2012/11/happiness-is-genetic/

Happiness comes in different form. The form of happiness I just found which (again) I call my ultimate fashion find is BUILT-IN HAPPINESS. It doesn't ring a bell, does it? I got it from an article on Good Housekeeping written by  Gretchen Rubin, a blogger of happinesproject.com which is all about her daily pursuit of vitamin glee. The write up was like asking me, "aren't you freakin' tired of writing "bitterness" blogs",  of crying for the same lame reason, of whining about the same old crap and of putting the best face on?" 

The answers is yes which is why I'm gonna go ahead do myself a favor and get that built-in happiness I deserve at all cost and by all means. 

So what's Built-in Happiness? Well, you know what happiness is. You probably have your own definition of it, while "Built-in" is something that is non- detachable or a permanent part of a unit or system. In other words, it is "non- detachable happiness". The next question is, "oh really? In this complex world where even the most trivial matter can trigger stress, how could happiness be non- detachable?"

Before, I'll even answer that question and share my own view about it. Here are the three keys to that "H" word and how to get and keep it according to Gretchen. 

1. Self- acknowledge. It translates to knowing yourself which is really very elementary. The author said that we can only build a happy life only on the foundation of our own interests, natures and values. " Although, I can choose what I do, I can't choose what I like to do. I wish I had a passion for music, but I just don't....just because something is fun for other people doesn't mean it is fun for me and vice versa...I've found that the more faithfully I'm able to " Be Gretchen" in my daily life, the happier I become." She reiterated. After all, we are only hanging out with ourselves all day long. 

2. Anticipation. That's just the first stage, considering that it is really hard to be happy when the future holds no pleasant promises. The next stages are:

• Savoring- enjoy the moment (turn off your cellphone!)
• Expression- amplifying your pleasure to heighten the experience.(does not include posting your rage on facebook.haha.)
• Reflection- looking back on happy times.Go pull out your photo album! (sounds like counting your blessings)

3. Love. It may seem "cheesy" but she included it anyway. Admit it, Loving is the most endorphin- generating activity, you'll ever experience. (remember loving, not flirting. XD) "For most of us, time, energy and money are in short supply, so when we are trying to figure out how to get the biggest happiness bang for the buck, it's wise to spend on strengthening bonds with family, friends and coworkers," Rubin explained. She asked whether you want to splurge for train ticket to a college friend or a pair of boots; stay at home watching TV or make plans to meet a friend. "To connect more deeply with people, I need to build my own independent happiness"- She concluded. She based it on her reflection on a haunting passage from Bon Dylan's  Strange, Brilliant Memoir Chronicles: vol. one. He writes: "I looked at the menu, then I looked at my wife. The one thing about her that I always loved was that she was never one of those people who thinks that someone else is the answer to their happiness. Me or anybody else. She has always had her own built-in happiness." That's the reason why I call it my new fashion find. Smiling (happiness made-obvious) indeed is the most attractive accessory of a woman or a man. What makes a person more beautiful is when he is able to radiate positive vibes by being happy. 

Can't seem to get enough from it? Neither can I. I said (still not convinced), "Well, better said than done. What happened to built-in happiness when you just lost a loved one, or was dumped by a lover or broke up with your partner?" uh oh. and Since Gretchen can't give me an answer to that (unless I was the one who personally interviewed her), I just answered my own question. Well, those are valid reasons to cry. That's part of the moving on process. But it is not a valid reason to dwell upon for a long period. Because hey! You were happy before him/her, so there's no reason you can't be happy without him now. MOVE ON and get a  life. Make it a part of your learning experience. 

"By being emotionally self- sufficient...I free myself from depending on other people to boost me up or letting them drag me...when I have built-in happiness, I don't act like a happiness vampire who sucks every happy energy from other people or craves a lifeblood of praise, affirmation or reassurance to support my happiness." she said matter-of- factly. 

So here's my own way of getting that built- happiness in addition to what Gretchen stated:

It isn't built-in if I've just gotten it, right? Then, I therefore say that I already have it since I was born. God secured a hardwired happiness for us. I just didn't realize it, until now. 
                                                                                                                       

• Be You-tiful: rule of thumb- don't try to be someone else. That's identity theft. That's what I was guilty of before when I was still a people-pleaser. When I started being "Mary Ann", I learned accepting the way people are. I realized that after reading a passage on John Maxwell's book: THINK BIG, " Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll know what little chance you have on trying to change others." 
  

• Be an excellent accountant of your blessings: Like they said, " Shit happens!". It really does and sometimes it happens again and again. No wise words can easily comfort us when we are feeling down in the corner or when we are licking our own wounds. Again, it is just okey to cry and grieve for it. We are humans. The best thing to do is to to think that blessings or good things also happen and most of the time, they happen again and again. Isn't it nice? Don't wait until you make that failure becomes your excuse from being productive which is what most people are doing wrong. In showbiz, (hehehe), I like Mico Sotto's comforting words when he saw, Angel Locsin crying, "Sige iiyak mo lang yan, pero pag bukas, ummiyak ka pa rin (dahil jan)lagut ka sakin."

http://www.brokenmindset.org/

• Be a wise giver: Giving isn't always in a form of cash or in- kind, it may be in an intangible form such as time, love, encouragement and a whole lot more. To say "a wise giver" would be an understatement as we sometimes give just to feed our "guilt" which lead us to being hosts to parasites instead of helping those that are truly  in need. When we give to person who have the same exact body parts that we have who does nothing and just sit there, we don't feel relieved, we feel burdened. I got this realization from Bo Sanchez who said in his blog, "Remember in Biology, parasites can't exist without a host. So the reason, that there are parasites is because there are people who like to play the role of host." Don't be a host because,in pathology, the host ends up ill. Giving is supposed to be a soul-enriching activity. 

• Make other people happy and be happy for them: that's what happy people do. During my immature days, I secretly laughed at other people's misfortune and resented other people's achievement just like how I reacted on the graduation picture of my former classmates because I was engrossed in my own problems in life.  But it doesn't help. It makes me feel a loser . I got over it eventually since it isn't endorphin- generating. Make other people happy. it won't cost you a dime.

• Above all, TRY:  When I stopped being a people- pleaser, I became "me"- a  go- getter . Then, I did try to change myself, I finally gave up. I discovered that I have ever changing interests and I hate routines and love trying new things though I will always be faithful to writing as my husband. There's not a single time that I regretted trying. So just try. I'm not saying "bite more than you can chew". You'll get stuck doing  everything.You don't want to get chocked. Do you? Chew one thing at a time. (for proper digestion..hehehe). Remember, trying is what those successful people first did before they got to their rightful place on earth. Take that leap of faith. If there's one thing that stays on your mind for quite some time already, It may be worth trying. 

Alright, that's pretty  my idea of built-in happiness. 

So having said that. I've come up with list of things that made me believe I, somehow, have a built- in happiness. These are 10 of the most great feelings in life for me(which are unconsciously the most silly things I celebrate everyday.)

1. The last call within the shift. (all in a day's work as a call center agent. : P)

2. Wearing underwear fresh from the clothesline/dryer. (silly)

3. When the jeep is finally filled with passengers. 

4. When it's finally your turn after standing in line for what seems like forever. (especially at the NBI office)

5. When one of your friend says, " tara, libre kita"

6. When our professor won't show up after over 15 minutes (which means...class dismissed!)

7. When a particular brand of apparel that I've been planning to buy goes on sale. 

8. Seeing a cute baby

9. Catching my crush staring at me.(Sillier)

10 Hearing, "crush din kita" from your crush. (Silliest)

You can come up with your own list and your own definition of built-in happiness too. 

You see, while stress is inevitable, happiness remains to be a choice and is always for free. No point of aiming for a stress- free year/life, you will just be chasing the wind.  Instead, celebrate those simple things and you'll realize that they outnumber your misfortune. 

Don't let anyone unscrew that built-in happiness from you.

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

More big words from Gretchen Rubin and Joseph Addison : 

"While people argue that it's selfish to be happy, we should be selfish- if only for selfless reasons."- Rubin

"The three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love and something to hope for"- Addison. 

- Mary Ann Vallente. ☺

Bes

here's for my four-leaf clover bestfriend. (sorry taglish)

                           

She won the title Mutya ng
San Vicente. She used to join fashion
shows and beauty pageant.

We started as seatmates. It was the first day of school. You confidently sat beside me in the front row, and I was kind of wondering why you were in 3^rd year St. Augustine class. I was about to ask, “ excuse me, are you sure you should be here?” Sorry bes, I was actually expecting that you’d be in the second section, St. Benedict. Call me proud and discriminating but that was what I really thought.I was like, “ seriously, magkatabi tayo?” 

 BEHAVE STUDENTS:  (left- right) Yours truly, Kristy, 

Science Coach- Mrs. Jumamoy and School Head- Mrs. Suelto

Well, I knew your reputation in the campus and I know you knew mine too. I belonged to what you call “weirdo” club composed of self- proclaimed cerebral students, righteous bastards, teacher’s favorite, and pretentiously behave kids and you were with what I call high maintenance, delinquent, rowdy, attention seekers and conceited girls. My group hated your group in the same way that you hated mine too. So, the chance of being friends was very unlikely though we were civil with each other. But, thanks to your extraordinary confidence, humingi ka kaagad ng papel. Nahiya naman ako, hindi pa nga tayo close. You joined me on my lunch break which raised the eyebrows of my default “girlfriends”. Or so I thought.

So, that’s when the friendship started. From seatmates/lunchmates to cheat mates. Ayus! may supplier ka na ng papel, may source ka pa ng answer. Hehehe. Pero, I admit, give- and- take naman tayo diba?Dahil magaling ka sa memorization, so sayo  ang enumeration, saken ang essay, modified true or false and multiple choice. Needless to confess the “kodigo” we made. You know, the works. Lol. Tapos, if the exam requires us to draw a diagram or illustration, kinakalabit moko. I just want to let you know na hindi ka pa nagbabayad sa mga pinadrawing mo. 30 pesos kada stroke yun. : P. Aside from that, we became partners in crime. For example, we listed all the mispronunciations and grammar lapses of our teachers and came up with a dictionary. We haven't published it yet, have we? And when there’s someone reporting in front of the class, we tried to formulate hard and unfathomable questions. Para "nga- nga" sila at para may points tayo sa recitation. Epal tayo eh. I dare say we were also mathematically challenged. Our most dreaded question? – FIND THE SOLUTION. urghhh! Then, after we found the value of x (found means we didn’t solve it, you got it from the match whiz named Lord), the next dilemma comes in, SHOW YOUR SOLUTION. Patay!

Kulitan time!!!!!!!!

Pero di bale ng we can’t find the solution, basta we've found a friend in each other. Yeeey, ang corny ko. Seriously bes, I never thought that our friendship is going to last five years. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko feel, presence mo dati. I hoped that you would keep on cutting classes so I could have the luxury of silence and meditation. Chos! I mean, so I could get rid of that moment when I cringed because of utter annoyance everytime you keep on applying lip gloss and make up and checking yourself in the mirror. Alam mong manang ako at hindi ako nagsusuklay so what made you think I’ll be interested about makeup and stuff? Good thing, I got used to it. I saw a thing in you that’s very interesting and is beyond what meets the eye- Fighting spirit. I didn’t have such thing. I was very self- conscious and insecure. You’re not. And I envy that.

Yan talaga ang reason why I just let things be and agreed with you when you brought up the suggestion of having “tawagan”. They (you know who they are bes) asked me, why you of all the people, and why I suddenly just made friends with you na kakakilala ko lang. You know high school drama. My apology, bulag talaga ako when it comes to friendship. T’was just a wasted effort on their part for I just turned a deaf ear.

"There was one time, naglaslas ka…
nakiuso ka kasi sa mga emo."

So we made memories after another. You know what the best part is?  You’ve unfolded that “kalog” in me.  We shared silly and illegal moments like ditching the school bayanihan (which I was supposed to lead) to spend your birthday. Naalala mo ba yung naputol yung sandals mo tapos kelangan nating huminto sa waiting shed and plotted to hitch a ride. And we were successful, thanks to your charm. I didn’t have to do a thing to convince the driver. There was one time, naglaslas ka…nakiuso ka kasi sa mga emo. Ayun, nung ni raid ni Kapitan ang school natin asking for SSG’s cooperation looking for students with cut on their wrists. Uh oh, I was, like, torn between the authority and you. Buti na lang hindi ka nahuli. Alam na!

Ah! Who would forget that moment we shared on stage during the Division press conference talent show. We sang Total Eclipse of the Heart and we imitated the characters on the show kokey. I played Rufa g’s role and you played eugene’s. We pulled it off and made the audience laugh. That was the funniest thing we ever did. You always laugh at me because I always forget things and you kept on making fun of me so I got back at you by making fun of you too. Then, we ended up making fun of ourselves. And there was a seemingly endless laughter.

A scene in the talent show contest

Ping and neneng.

By the way, do you remember Benralph Yu? I was hurt when you said he was gay. It was as if, you just sucked the happiness out of me. He was my ultimate crush- admiration to a fault. I did all the research about his biography, kept all his write ups and printed out all his pictures online.pathetic right? And you just gave me that insulting laugh. Urghhh…nakakainis ka sa part na yun!

Lady in vest!!!

We had a very worst cold war months before graduation. Ang pinaka ayaw ko sa lahat yung, iniiwan ako sa ere. Chos. I hate when someone leaves me evaluating myself and reviewing the things I might have done wrong. I didn’t budge anyway. I said, bahala ka! I can always mirror you. And you did the most remarkable thing when you approached me at the backstage and said sorry. And then business as usual na ulet. Yes!

She bagged a journalism award for being a feature writer
and Division Press Conference winner for 4 consecutive years
in the field of Feature writing. 

Personal priorities, studies, career, and distance separated us yet nothing changed. We are still the same childish best-friends sa tuwing nagkikita tayo.

This kaleidoscope of experiences made me know you better. I understood things such as... you’ve been longing for that fatherly affection. You haven’t seen him in a very long time. Nung nagkita kayo, It was like you were talking to an acquaintant. You’ve been through a lot yet you still manage to hold your head high and wear that i-don’t care-what- u-think-of-me smile.

Seriously? 

pero binawi mo naman dito..

When it comes to diet, we are like Cave men
or construction workers. While I got frustrated with
my unstable weight, she remained very thin and sexy.
What else am I missing?

I understood that you aren’t just any other girl, you are a woman of substance hiding in mini-skirt and skimpy shorts. Principled. Intelligent. Strong. I discovered that you are a profound feature writer. We were already under the same office roof in the school publication but I never thought you can easily come up with a topic and submit it within an hour. And you write with swag without being unassuming. I was wondering why other people except from our coach, didn't realize it.

It was because of you and the countless others that I discovered in myself the gift of reading and understanding people. I always get close and attached to people who are my exact opposite and most of the time people that are misjudged. You made me realize there’s really no bad apple.

Campus crushes

I’d like to let the world know that hey! Here’s Remwill Jean Vinter, hailed from Negros, beauty queen, writer, singer and beautician at large (convict?hehehe). She was, is, will be my best friend forever.

Yin and Yang 

I realize that birds of different feather can also flock together. Proof to that? Tayo.  We have a lot of differences yet we don't care.

PS. I have to tell you the truth that I committed a grave sin to you- a sin that will put your dream of submitting a manuscript to Precious Hearts Romance on hold. I totally lost the Manuscript you wrote and spent so much time with. I can’t find it in my closet anymore. I’ve turned the house upside down the last time I went home. I can’t find any excuse anymore. Sorry bes. I’m really very sorry.                                                                                           

PPS. Thanks for dealing with my flaws. There's more to come.: P 

at gaya ng demand mo na iexpose ko na to. Well, here it is.Cropped version nga lang.at pinaitim ako jan. Just a sneak peek yah know! My fierce and sexy side.tsaran!!

kala mo kaw lang marunong.: P

The Unknown Variable

(Love: as I see it)
by Mary Ann Vallente

deviantart.com

I was in the middle of troubleshooting a wifi connection issue over the phone when the caller, a 72- year-old married woman, asked me, “What do you look for in a guy?" and then I just stared at the monitor blankly as if trying to search for an answer and cleared my throat and answered with a stuttered voice, “uhm ah a- I really don't know."

Well, first off, I am not supposed to disclose things that transpired on any of my call but since I don't think this one is classified information, I'll share it. And I wish she didn't start telling me about her love-life so I didn't have to respond, thus lengthening our conversation. 

"Values". She answered her own question. "You have to have the same values."

I remained silent as I hung on every word she was saying." The very reason why there are many failed relationships like marriages ending in divorce, is because when we were young we look for superficial attributes in a guy or a girl like sexual compatibility, material things, the looks...you know what I mean? In other words we let hormones dictate us. Sometimes, we look at the horoscopic compatibility, like when the planet mars embraces neptune. That is pathetic! And when they get married they end up fighting about in- laws, money, time and all kinds of crap because they don’t value the same thing!"

That was quite a sermon! I couldn’t believe I heard it from a woman who lives in a country where divorce is legal.

It's been a long time since I dared to write something about affairs of the heart. It was when?...Last Valentine’s Day? And it is not even like any other cute short-lived summer affair in High School or a love- story in-the- making- with someone else. It is all about my share of unfortunate yet funny experiences in the dating scene.  Like what I have always been saying, I don't have any romantic love story to tell. In other words, my life is boring.

Yikes! I hate finding myself writing topics like this. I swear I gave this a lot of thought. The risk of being criticized by old and matured people because I still don’t understand what I am saying is bothering me. But nothing is more disturbing than not being able to express my views. That awful feeling when I can’t sleep because I had to control conversations in my head like, “Go, get a pen, write!” and “nope, just shrug it off, It’s so trivial and preachy blah!..blah…blah!”

To be honest, it really is still early for me talk about this stuff. I am not ready for any commitment yet. Hence, I don't see any importance of it now. But in the years to come, say, five to ten years from now, I know it will make perfect sense to me. I’ll either laugh at the naivety of this essay or say “I’m right and I made the right choice.”

This may also somehow help shed some light on questions about why couples keep on fighting as though it is their daily exercise and trace the reason why there are relationships on the rocks. This also made me understand the kind of biological family I have.

In the religious perspective, there are three possible vocations one can take in a lifetime. These include Priesthood/Religious life, Single Blessedness/Consecrated celibacy and Marriage (Religious life, Single life and Marriage life in layman’s term).The three bear equal weight when it comes to sacredness. Yet, young as I am, it appears to me that marriage seems to be treated less sacred.

In the political and legal sense, Philippine remains to be a divorce-free nation though there are several attempts to set the bill in motion in the judicial level. That’s a good thing.  We remain to be religiously grounded. (If I may say so). The women’s partylist group Isa-Ako Babaeng Astig Aasenso (1- ABAA) was even unsuccessful in pushing the “ten- year marriage expiration” bill through, a year ago. It was in their hope to lessen violence against woman and children. Though, it sounds practically right but I found it funny and absurd. Renewable marriage is like renewable family that has a predestined end. What makes it different from divorce? It’s even worse because it’s like treating marriage not as a sacred lifetime commitment but a “some kind of a business venture”.

The woman is right. “Values” is really the missing ingredient. For me, it is the missing common denominator or the unknown value (x) in a relationship equation (because God will always be the constant variable).  The government and the church are not always there to write a bill to resolve issues we made for ourselves in the first place.

In addition to that, here’s how I perceived the woman’s point.

A couple doesn’t have to possess the same character or the same interest. In other words, you don’t have to look for a person who has a carbon copy of your personality. As a matter of fact, it’s ok if a person is your exact opposite. That way, you can complement each other. It’s already a consolation if you are at the same wavelength or share the same interests. Hence, you can understand where each other is coming from. But that’s just at the surface level. When she said, “You have to have the same values.” She meant, you have to share the same priority. If you value treasure, money or financial security, then go, marry someone who is future-oriented, the one who is responsible with money. She didn’t say be a gold- digger and marry the richest guy in town. She said marry the one who can journey with you in your effort to hone a well-provided family. If you love your parents/family, then be with someone who is family oriented, who can accept and love them too and vice versa. Same goes with religion, work/career, and time.

Values- disparity. Perhaps, that’s what happened to Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise who broke up several months ago.  Rumor has it that Katie Holmes doesn’t want her daughter to adapt Tom Cruise’s devotion to Scientology. God knows how they justified it to their daughter.

The kids always suffer from the result.It’s a known consequence.

“It’s God’s will” has been the most common justification of why it ended up like that.

And the most common classroom introduction I always hear: I come from a broken family. I don’t even bother asking why. I already know the answer. But I know it doesn’t make them less of a person and it doesn’t even make me or anybody else a lot fortunate than them. What’s the difference between having a broken family and having a physically intact family yet spiritually loose?urghh.

That might be the picture the woman had in mind. “You see, the choice you make today sweetie, has a long term impact, so take your time, you are still young.” That was her last word before the line went dead.

Furthermore, If you don’t have the same values, at least one party whole- heartedly accepts and understands the other. That’s where our “Choice” or “decision making” gets into the picture.

Decision making is right at the nerve endings connected to all of our body organs (internal or external) not just the nerve endings from our brain to our lips responsible for magical kissing sensation and/or the nerve endings of your skin, especially those that are connected to your reproductive and excretory organs. You know what I mean. (You might as well include your soul).

As what our theology professor taught us when I was a freshman in college, humans are defined by the acronym PRAISES. We are Physical, Rational, Aesthetic (visual), Intellectual, Sexual, Emotional and Spritual Beings. (He could’ve included financial) These are our needs. All should be involved and considered in decision- making. However, for some reason, we put more weight on emotional and sexual needs.

I also remembered a blunt yet sensible remark of a college professor, “If you want to know if she’s the right woman, notice how she treats her family members at home. If she screams a lot and treats her brothers and sisters as inferiors, think twice! You might be marrying Ms. Always Right. You are in great trouble man.” That can be applicable to women too.

 It doesn’t matter if you are a perfect campus or university couple, or limelight sweethearts, or if you turn everybody’s head when you enter Starbucks; or your zodiac signs are compatible. That’s crap. That’s what magazines, romantic novels and telenovelas bombarded to us. What really is important is when you watch your kids growing up saying, “My parents raised me well.”

Liebster blog award?

Okay, pagbibigyan kita Sunshine kasi magkaka- baby ka na. And I don't think I deserve any award for blogging about my self- centered desires and self- serving write ups. hehehe. Seriously, I like the eleven questions listed below. It's a privilege to be asked with those questions. I have to admit that my greatest subconscious desire is to be interviewed by Boy Abunda. Ambisyosa ba? By the way, one question, is this award officially mine or is this just part of the elimination round? Actually, I have two questions. Why the name Liebster?

Alright. The Leibster Award, quoting Sunshine who quoted the awarder, Ms. Cham, is given to those "up-and-coming blogger with less than 200 followers". So, mukhang ako nga ang tinutukoy nito.

Here's the drill

* Share 11 Facts About Yourself

* Answer the Awarder's 11 Questions
* Ask 11 Questions of your Own
* Nominate 11 Bloggers or 12

So , let's get the ball rolling 

11 facts about me. 

1. I don't eat pork dishes. 

2. I eat all kinds of vegetables. 

3. My favorite getup is Jeans and Tee shirt. 

4.  I love bossa nova and orchestrated instrumental  music like those soundtracks used in final fantasy. 

5. I am a self- proclaimed street- smart. And I wish to be with a street- smart guy. 

Tusok-tusok galore

6. I am, as of now, a No- boyfriend- Since- Birth. (by choice). And I never had my first kiss (yet). (not by choice). And I am proud of it.

7. I have more female "crushes" than male ones. But I am sure I am a girl, a stereotypical one.

stereotypical superwoman wannabe

8. I am a call center agent but my "english" expires after shift and after I put the last period on the last paragraph of my write- ups. I make "nga-nga" when somebody talks to me in english beyond those timeframes.

Madeline in the house!!!

9.  My ambition was to be a TV reporter or a TV Anchorwoman until I lost a newscasting competition twice. Now, all I want is to be a Dr. of Psychology. 

Mary Ann Vallente, reporting!

10. Although I want to cry, I can't shed a tear when I watch sentimental movies or any tearjerkers or actual dramatic confrontation. For some reason, all painful memories accumulate when I am drunk.

11. I'm willing to give up fact number 6 because I AM IN LOVE. 

Sunshine's 11 question

1. What's the first thing you do in the morning?

-  I contemplate for 5 mins. 

2. Lyrics or Music?

- Music. Life's a mistake without it.

3. What's the last song you sang in the bathroom?

- Officially Missing you

4. If your life will be adapted to a movie, what's the title?

- The Commoner (the most creative title ever)

5. Follow up question... what's the OST? 

- Will of the wind
6. What's the name of your favorite teacher?

- Jesus Christ

7. If you will live another life, what would you be? 

- Lady detective

8. Who's your greatest inspiration in blogging?

- can I name two? Imelee Fuentes and Sunshine Espiritu 

9. The funniest nickname you had when you were a kid?

- Pintoy 

10. What's the worst gift you ever received?

- handkerchief

11. If you were a cactus, why? (I know this is familiar..)

- If I were a cactus? I would be annoyed. So don't ask why shine.hehehehe.

My 11 Questions: (no holds barred)

1. Who is that one person you keep on stalking on facebook?please state his/her role in your life. 

2. If given a chance to land a role on a TV series or movie, what would it be?

3. What cartoon character best describes you?

4. Your greatest hidden desire/ambition.

5. Do you think you're handsome/beautiful?explain

6. What turns you on in a girl or guy?

7. The most embarrassing remark you received from a teacher/professor (either in college or Highschool)

8. What's your favorite Filipino jukebox song?

9. (Please complete the sentence) I know it is silly but I love....

10. What's the best advice your parents gave you?(from reader's digest)

11. What is your major mistake in life? (sounds familiar, right?)

Although I don't want to (hehehhee, just kidding), I am passing this award to: 

1. Dex of twothreezone

2. Arbien's wordbliss-chronicle.

3. SuperMomiRheiMy roller coaster ride

4. Ate dianne's mylittlemarianne.

5. Keith's koloratura

6. Imelee's scratchpapers

Sorry Shine...I only have 5 blogging followers. (ayus lang ba yun?)

You are right shine. I had fun answering your questions and I had a hard time coming up with 11 new ones. Thanks, because I wasn't able to continue writing my "valentine special" post. May God bless you and your baby lucas. Hugs and Kisses.